dirty thirty.

i'm a lover of lists and as the statement "i'll be thirty in less than a year" finally applies to my life, i figured i'd make a little listie of things i'd like to do, see, be before that fateful day arrives. here... is the dirty thirty:

1. finish crocheting my blanket.
2. be comfortable with my body.
3. exercise daily.
4. create something daily.
5. say yes more.
6. save money.
7. finish decorating at least 2 rooms... at least.
8. give more.
9. go to the cabin by myself for at least a night.
10. put effort into the veggie garden.
11. have more patience.
12. watch less tv.
13. read more.
14. get pregnant ;)
15. blog consistently.
16. be more giving.
17. reach out more to friends and family.
18. stop beating around the bush and buy curtains and rugs. damnit.
19. read at least 2 classics.
20. be more adventurous. 
21. live a healthy life.
22. gossip less.
23. procrastinate less.
24. add another golden to our family. 
25. stay current in the news.
26. don't let the laundry sit forever.
27. practice recipes.
28. dance more.
29. always have firewood at the ready (which i don't tonight... sad face).
30. go to the theatre often.

link

twas the night before my birthday...

in a matter of hours, i'll be 29.

29! i'm 365 days away from 30. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit.

i know age is just a number and yadda yadda, but the reality that i am just one short year away from 30 is a little too... real. like really real. like really really holy shit real. Ah! i feel like i just parked my neon splatter painted huffy in my parents garage after being called in for dinner. how the hell am i almost 30?? yikes. in all honestly, i'm a little excited to turn thirty. just a little. 

for now, i'll stick with 29 :)

on turning 30.

granted i have 890 days until the big 3-0, but i've been thinking about what it will

mean when that day actually comes... and then goes and where i'll be, what i'll have

accomplished, what my life will be like, and so on. will it be ok if i don't have kids

by then? will it be ok if kevan and i aren't married by then? what if i never

lose weight? what if what if? will i will i?? the more i think about it,

the more the anxiety sets in. the more the questions cloud my mind.

 when this picture was taken, i was probably 7 months old and my mom... was 28. 

i'll be 28 in 5 months and 7 days.

and i'm ok with that.

but the thought that 30 is around the corner leaves me with a twinge anxiety.

anxiety nonetheless, but anxiety i can handle. that will push me to be better, learn

more, experience adventure, and figure out the me i want to be.

so 30, bring it on!

...just not until 2014.